8:28am
8:29am
Marcie Rendon
as i left the house at 7am i thought
goddamnit i forgot my computer but with dog and lunch bag and cup of tea and
keys i couldn't imagine returning into house for one more thing
uberetc - english ojibwe verbish
8:30am
in
a past lifetime I must have been a very bad taxi driver who accidently ran over
someone or robbed people of their fares by driving them miles out of their way
because this lifetime I spend inordinate amounts of time driving here and
there, one person here, another there, never a fare in return.
what?? i don't have any pictures of me in a car? will need to rectify that shortly.
and
so we are into the end of the first month of the 2015-16 school year. Once
again on driver duty. Why you ask? It is the same question I ask. My answer is
this: I want this grandchild to have a chance to follow her dream. To maybe
know what her dream is or can be. She is so willing to give up on herself and
let others dictate what she should do and how she should do it. She is the one
to try make everyone happy, please them all, at any cost to herself. And so I
drag my tired old self out of bed each morning at 6:25, get her at 7, drop her
off at 7:44 and repeat the process at 3pm.
I
also avoid making catty remarks about other folks’ perfect children. The ones
going to law school and making the deans list and doing community service. Some
days all I can claim is that my children keep the social workers and treatment
providers employed. But this I also truly know. My children are very good
people. There is no pretense there. They do not hurt other people-either with
words or action or side-eye looks. They are not cruel or pretentious.
I
took one granddaughter to the zoo on Sunday. She has allergies. We brought a
water bottle for her because her throat was scratchy. I said I was thirsty and
she said, “You might catch what I have or I would share with you.” Very
thoughtful for an 9 year old. She also walked slowly with me although she very
desperately wanted to run to see the chickens. All of the children in that
daughter’s family ask me, “Grandma, how was your day?” It is very sweet
considering how many folks drain me each and every day without thought or
consideration.
Maybe
at another time I will write more about a very patriotic event I recently
attended where I had to grip my chair to stop from dropping to one knee as
3-400 folks stood for the national anthem. Oh, it was so tempting – but I
practiced ultimate self-control. It wasn't a football game.
