free and next to free ways to have fun in the winter

*build an igloo in your backyard

*ice fishing

*snowshoeing/skiing/hiking in city/county parks

*roast hotdogs and marshmallows on a grill in your back yard

*invite friends over to play board games:  monopoly, scrabble, yatzee

*minneapolis has an: ice carnival; a holidazzle parade; and an 'art shanty' event where local artists create 'art house' installations along the lines of the fish houses for ice fishing on lake minnetonka-folks walk around on the frozen lake and look at the art installations - this year they are also having performance artists perform on the ice 

*minneapolis public library:  you can 'check out' passes to the russian museum of art, the swedish institute, the foshay tower - maybe other cities have similar programs

*over the holiday season churches frequently have christmas programs, advent nights, musical choir performances and concerts - check local newspapers and bulletin boards for these events which are almost always free and family friendly

*private schools (and some public schools) also have holiday programs that are open to the public

*when my children were smaller, agencies like the Lions, Vets organizations, etc sometimes had santa days that were free and open to the public - again community newspapers and bulletin boards

*other cultural events that are often open to the public:  Kwanza, Hmong New Year, 

*go christmas caroling with friends

*hand out cookies or other holiday treats to homeless

*again, churches sometimes have Nativity pageants outdoors with real people and live animals - most children are not as denomination-centric as adults and they always love live animals

*pick a local school and attend their sporting events (community and high school tickets are always cheaper than major league sporting events) - you don't need to have a child attending the school to support your neighborhood school

*take a late night walk with friends and family on a full-moon night - incredibly beautiful

hope for the best, prepare for the worst

as i opened the local news online this am i remembered how in the past few years i have shut my phone off at night and then checked the local crime news each morning before i turned my phone back on
major grannie tip:  if you 'just know' there is going to be impending bad news, make sure you get a good nights sleep and then do your best to prepare for the worst

so, i have gotten a brief reprieve from that particular piece of drama; of course there is always new and different drama but being able to sleep at night and read the national or local news before checking the crime page is a good step in the right direction

so far today i have gotten three children off to school; moved canning jars to the basement, sawed off the trees that have volunteered in the yard and am now getting ready to watch an episode of Wired.  a friend sent me the entire series - some friends know exactly what one longs for and never gets

success...

writing with grape stained fingertips as picked grapes this labor day, hopefully sometime this evening they will become juice
will try to get back to regular posts here as time has passed and so many interesting tidbits have occurred and so many tips have been learned and not posted...  soon, soon folks

trying to write on my blog and grannie is failing

not your milk and cookies grannie: grannie sends em to camp

not your milk and cookies grannie: grannie sends em to camp: how did: "appropriate language, appropriate clothes and remember you are sisters, be kind to each other" become: grandma said, "don't make a...

grannie sends em to camp

how did: "appropriate language, appropriate clothes and remember you are sisters, be kind to each other" become: grandma said, "don't make any arch-enemies"?

"ah" work for grannie

i have missed writing and have missed sharing thoughts, plots and tips...   at some point i got just plain wore out thinking and chasing and working all day with young ones and couldn't imagine one more thought going in their direction; but that isn't useful for me, this writing is what keeps me sane and keeps the brain cleared of chaos and focused on beauty.  i have enjoyed driving each day and seeing the green leaves emerge first as buds, then as lacy foliage against the sky and today the trees are almost full and only hints of blue peek through - as i write this i remember that a few nights ago, or maybe it really was a week ago, there was a tornado warning here in the city...  as i listened to the sirens sound i turned on the radio on the computer - of course the two pre-teens were in the yard tornado-chasing while i half listened to the warnings while continually reminding myself that IF we had to run to the basement i had best not forget the infant sleeping - i had visual nightmares of being huddled in the basement and seeing the house lift off only to realize then that he was still in his crib; who needs to sleep to have nightmares?

i am eternally grateful for the women who have seen a need and arrived - they are why i tell my adult daughters to nurture relationships with women; it is these relationships that sustain us

this whole experience however has made me understand the glee that men must feel as they leave for work each day - those men who leave the woman and children behind while they work/meet/work-socialize all day....  the giddiness  i feel when i can walk out the door for a brief three hours of work each wednesday - such a feeling of "ah"....

so many appointments have occurred, been missed and scheduled since last i wrote - this taking care of kids placed by the county has requirements beyond human capability or current gas prices.  i know that social workers go to school to become social workers to help people - however, at some point, another part of their brain must take over and it all goes a little wonkey

hence my grannie tip: do whatever you can to outsmart the ^%$#*#$'s

sunday, for a brief moment (actually seven hours) i only had one child, and that one prefers to stay upstairs and out of sight.  exhaustion threw me into bed for a 2 hour nap. i awoke still tired.  as if i can't get enough of storms rumbling non-stop, after the nap i found a national geographic movie about tornado chasers.  what is the fascination with chasing trouble?  as if i know nothing about that....  
i have a poem that starts:
    a common misconception
is the assumption
that god created flowers
on a higher plane than dirt
or say
tornadoes
my mother never rode on horses
she ran with mustangs
another time
a tornado touched down
saw her
and retreated back from
where it came....

and the poem goes on, you get the drift

yesterday was mother's day and as some of you probably noticed i was pretty 'not into' the day
my own mother chose alcohol over her children - or the alcohol chose her
the gifts she sent yearly let me know that even in her haze she loved me as best she could
unfortunately for a child those gifts were not enough
we are always told, we do the best we can
and i argue with that, knowing in the depths of my being that there were plenty of days when i was mothering my own children that i certainly did not do the best i could - often i was too tired, too wore out, too poor to do the best i could - i hoped that the days i could pull it off 'doing the best i could' would somehow make up for all the days i just couldn't, didn't or wouldn't - and while i don't feel guilty about the mothering i did do; the evidence is in the pudding so to speak
and there are friends, bless their hearts and minds, who know exactly when to say the thing that makes the biggest difference...   my friend sue, looking me square in the eye and saying, 'just look at it this way, the insanity skipped a generation, it does that in many families'

i just do not get platitudes and empty words; love is a verb in my vocabulary

grannie tip for the night:
     a ten pound bag of potatoes in front of the lower kitchen cabinet keeps the toddlers out of the dish soap, ramen noodles, garbage bags, fire extinguisher and water pitchers stored under the sink

broken goal of not becoming a crabby old grannie

i am not celebrating mother's day.  it is a day of romanticized forgetfulness for those living in denial. do i sound angry?  bitter? resentful? possibly all of the above, but i am choosing not to be reminded of the distance between platitudes of love and hurtful behaviors and remarks

grannie tips

saturday was such a peaceful day i had nothing to post. the three year old was mia, the 1 year old is just too sweet and the bigger ones watched videos and were happy with their garage sale finds.  they also enjoyed their moment of stardom when they sang you are my sunshine at the fight like a mother art show.  that was nice:  beautiful food, interesting motherly, feministic art and crafty things for sale - each big girl got jewels and a fancy umbrella to keep the sun off their faces, all at prices not much more than the garage sale finds. 46th & grand, minneapolis. a friend over for dinner was great company - adult conversation about shared motherhood experiences, small needs by big women.
the one year old ate his dinner with a fork last night; he was proud as could be sitting on phone books on a chair pushed up to the table and tied on with a dish cloth - you could just see the pride in his eyes as he sat there and speared his potatoes and got them to his mouth
i have been forgetting to write my grannie tips, which was one of the reasons for starting this blog.
so i will try to remember some of them today
grannie tip 1)   wic gives lots of dry cereal; food shelves give lots of canned fruit - pureed fruit mixed into the cereal is loved by the toddlers, no milk added
grannie tip 2) windows opened from the top down saves my window screens from sharp little fingernails and various flying objects
grannie tip 3) dressers turned toward the wall are unmovable by toddlers therefore they are unable to empty them 20 times a day
grannie tip 4) bungie cords will keep just about anything shut and inoperable by those under 7
grannie tip 5) having a basement filled with bugs! is a guarantee that the 3 year old will never open the basement door and consequently put her baby brother in danger
grannie tip 6) fingernails painted bright red make it impossible to see the dirt under the nails of any child; next week we will experiment with the goth look, painting them black

dvd possession

i am a writer.  i am supposed to working on plays and songs and stories and novels.  not chronicling temporary insanity.  when i started writing eons ago it was to maintain my sanity.  is this progress or not? today topped previous days.  one tiny body carries so much anger and frustration. boxes, pots, chairs, toys, movies, bottles all go flying in a three hour rampage. i deflect and move and maneuver.  at the end of three hours there is an hour of calm when the adult she craves takes her.  however, one bag of chocolate eaten during that hour fuels the storm.  another hour before the sugar crash occurs and sleep takes over - right there!  right here!  a spent child slumbers on the floor.  an hour and a half where i return a semblance of order to the chaos and then we start again. eventually, the dvd player works - it is a possessed machine - working only when it wants to and never exactly when we want it to.  i wonder about the girl in Stephen King's Firestarter book, where fires erupt and machines work or don't work.  a movie's length of peace arrives. and then human help.  ah! i am unable to communicate, converse, smile, chit-chat.  i sit in the leather chair even though it is the one that makes my back ache and glare at other's attempts at normal conversation.  another adult arrives and puts her pajama-ed body in a stroller and walks her quietly around the lake for an hour or so. she doesn't fall asleep but is quiet and sleeps eventually.  i see the posts on facebook - happy wishes for mother's day and all i feel is resentment. folks who know me say, this will pass.  i remember a woman artist, who left her adult children and grandchildren in another city and moved here; saying, they would have eaten me alive if i had stayed.  i remember a number of years ago, the ten year old grandchild was a year old - i searched the internet looking for homestead land around the world and found it in Bolivia.  i contemplated moving there and spending my remaining years in bolivian forests.  i have joked about moving to a different country but it would have to be a third world country, with limited resource that no adult child would want to follow me to. i am searching my brain for one piece of humor to add to this chronicle - it is a desert for sure. Except last night, when i yelled at the oldest grandchild and my friend who were making smoothies in the kitchen for a 10pm snack - they were laughing and having a grand old time, and i yelled, "Knock it off, you two can't be out in the kitchen having fun, these little one's will never go to sleep if you keep enjoying yourselves."   yep, that's what i said.

knowing better than to wear spike heels

today was a long day.  we have two vcr/dvd players.  neither plays consistently which causes lots of kid drama. a work meeting this morning.  and i was supposed to go to a court hearing but it got set for a later date which gave me shopping at Savers time; next size up baby boy clothes.  have been trying to convince the three-year-old that seasons have changed and that the winter coat should be hung up for the season.  she thinks the new jacket would look just fine on her baby brother and she'll wear the winter one, thank you grannie... she is always prepared with her coat and backpack on the ready, i imagine this says something about how much she doesn't enjoy being here -  i was amused that her social worker took her for her physical (the drama there being that the social worker was not prepared for the doctor's upset at a family that are conscientious objectors to immunizations and when the doctor got upset with her she, the social worker, 'forgot' to get the daycare physical forms signed which in my mind was the whole point of getting the physical taken care of and those papers need to be signed in order to even began to look at the possibility of daycare - desperate needs) but the amusing part was imagining the social worker, in her spike heels, leading the three-year-old past the same gift shop and balloon array that i mentioned in a previous post (she didn't know about the face mask trick) - so, i had to make a trip to the doctor to try get the forms signed and was told that not getting them signed while there means at least a 5-7 day delay. is it proper for a grannie to growl at a social worker?
when we took one child to a doctor last week, or was it two weeks ago? one young woman lisw was wearing 4 inch spike heels - maybe i really am getting old because these days the fancy footwear are the worn and torn beaded moccasins given to me 15 years ago by friends up in northern Manitoba

empty

there are thousands of ways to break a heart
wear a person down
tear a soul to shreds

this water glass is empty
calling to the universe
for rain

still no fingerprints grannie

tried again to get fingerprinted for the state.  they said mine are just gone, something about not enough oil on my hands (they tried Cornhuskers lotion to 'pop' the prints out to no avail) or too many chemicals (the hazards of being a tidy grannie i guess).  it cost me 16$ to be told my fingers are bald (downtown parking). started out the morning watching a glass baby food jar race the ten-year-old out of the kitchen who had pissed off her little sister.  does anyone know of any toddler softball teams looking for a three year old with a good left throwing arm?  she's a fast runner too.  next came the trip to the WIC office.  WIC as in women, infants and children.  Where in the office there is a 3x2ft 'game' screwed to the wall where kiddos being examined for WIC can pretend they are driving a car - steering wheel and gear shifts kid height.  Right beneath this 'game' are uncovered electrical outlets. Which do you think the one year old found more interesting?  the game? or the outlet?  This is a WIC office, in Children's Hospital.  When you apply for WIC they have you answer a questionnaire. How many Popsicles does your child eat?  How many bowls of sugared cereal a week?  How many hours of TV?  You, the parent, fill out the questionnaire while some child-friendly television program is blasting from the ceiling.  Not a toy or book in sight.  There is a fingerprint smeared fish tank sitting down at the far end of the waiting room - right outside a door that says "quiet - sleep studies in progress".  WIC is for children under 5, the only interesting thing in the waiting area is the fish tank and most under 5 year olds i know cannot read yet. WIC - women, infants and children.  As we left the WIC clinic we had to pass the hospital gift shop where helium balloons graced the ceiling.  Not lost on the three-year-old - who, fortunately, was attached to a strap on her backpack - i admit it - i cannot run as fast as this three-year-old and she knows it - so yes, a strap on a backpack - she pulled one way - i the other.  the distraction that got her to leave?  a medical face mask to "keep all the babies from getting her germs".  a three year old with an angela davis afro, dressed in pink, wearing a blue hospital face mask left the hospital peacefully, everyone smiling at the oh so cute little girl - if they only knew. tomorrow, if i remember, i will tell you about the other child who went to school and told the school nurse 'some woman whose name i don't know let me take four tiny pills for my nerves before coming to school' - when you think about becoming a grandmother forget about rocking chairs and knitting

mayday mayhem

today was the mayday parade - crows galore and blue rabbits populated bloomington avenue.  what i like best are the hardtimes bike crew.  the children danced to every musical event that passed them by and chased mini tootsie rolls thrown their way.  breakfast at joanie and kevins started off the morning - after running a trunk load of recyclables to savers and then a 15 minute drive to pick up a grandchild - the one who looks at me with eyes that read:  not you again.   ah, yes, child, me again.  she danced to the street music and laughed at the monkeys with their blue butts - maybe you needed to have been at the parade to appreciate this post.  a major meltdown at the end which culminated with an under-the-arm take-away to the carseat.  then for me, an afternoon party at an old hotel that way back in the day housed st. pauls pimps and pros but is now home to swank.  how the times change.

no fingerprints on grannie

so today was one of those days.  i washed dishes.  my friend came over and washed dishes.  and there are still dirty dishes.  i also did three loads of laundry, swept the floors at least 5 times, once for each child.  friends brought over various foods to feed the grandchildren - starting at 8am with a couple who brought veggies from a drop site where organic leftover foods get deposited.  the potatoes were lunch and the tomatoes dinner; and the oranges snacks in-between.  in the afternoon other friends brought more potatoes (yes, we need more potatoes) and four loaves of asked for white bread - toast; grilled cheese sandwiches; cinnamon and sugar toast; and the ever handy peanut butter and jelly that travels with us on 'pick the big kids up from school' trips - tides everyone over until dinner time.  the pow-wow got missed because i was on deadline to get the application for state healthcare in; without health care just how could i do this job?  but missing the pow-wow was a huge disappointment - to appease the masses they were taken to the library and filled up on videos so that one sits at the vcr watching Babies and the other on the dvd player watching a bollywood video with english subtitles. i never watched a movie with subtitles until i was in my 30s.  not bad for a gradeschooler i guess.  my hands are so chapped from diaper wet wipes, dishes, and washing hands and faces that i type with oiled hands in leather gloves.  failed the fingerprint card test by the state - apparently as you age your skin dries out and it is harder for them to capture your fingerprints (take note criminals) - i need to oil and soften these grannie hands up - without the fingerprint card they can't do a background check and any help from the state for the kiddos gets held up

this was supposed to be the first post

this is not
your milk and 
cookies granny
more like
roll with the
punches
take it like a
man
put a tourniquet
on the snake bites
hope for the best
©rendon

camel's back

maybe creator never gives us more than we can handle

but there are some jokers

working round the clock

to see to it that the

camel's back is broken

that humpty never does get fixed

jack and jill

do not make it up the hill again

and some children step on cracks

just for the hell of it

sing songy nursery rhymes

make this 'not your milk and

cookies granny' want to do

the proverbial finger down the

throat gag